Heather25 Funny Status Messages

   just depressed:( I mean come on, really who took my crayons?

   I plead contemporary insanity.

   Confucius Say...Women who wear Wonderbra make mountains out of molehills.

   Good girls bend at the kness. BAD girls bend at the waist. ;)

   Ran into her ex today...put it in reverse and got his new girlfriend, too!!! ;)

   "Today was a good day. I didn't have to slap anybody."

   Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

   I know there are boy ladybugs, but what do you call them?

   I'll have what the guy on the floor is having.

   I'm from a small town full of gossip. I used to catch up whenever I talked to my folks. Now whenever they tell me something, I already know. Thanks Facebook.

   Well someone has to be sober.......NOT IT!

   A commercial traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a huge funeral procession. "Who died?" he asked a nearby local. "I'm not sure," replied the local, " but I think it's the one in the coffin."

   Does not set out to shock or offend anyone, but also does not do anything to prevent it.

   Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

   It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size. ;)

   Thinks given the choice between Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, I would prefer Parkinson's. I would rather spill a little beer rather than forget where I put it.

   wondering: do doggies ever do it people-style???

   Playing Wheel Of Fortune- Phrase G_F_CK Y_ _RS_LF ..would you like to solve or would you like to buy a vowel??

   Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license.

   Aren't you ever tired of having yourself around??