aNGELA Funny Status Messages

   You can't turn a ho into a housewife unless you're playing Scrabble.

   If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

   ink I am gonna celebrate Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I'll invite everyone in my neighborhood to my house, have an enormous feast, and then kill them and take their land. Happy Thanksgiving CANADA!!

   's going on vacation and coming back on probation.

   Ladies, pay attention ... sperm is made up of anger, stress, and anxiety ... best way to keep a man happy is to rid them of this negativity ... regularly!!!

   What's the difference between a bottle and puberty?? .........A bottle has already hit Justin Bieber!!

   Going to look for the meaning of life, first place I'm gunna check is this bottle of vodka

   Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

   If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.

   I wonder if Edward Cullen's Load looks like glitter glue??

   If YOU didn't SEE it w/your own eyes, or HEAR it w/your own ears, then WHY would you INVENT IT w/your SMALL MIND or SHARE it with YOUR BIG MOUTH !

   money cant by harmony and happiness, but I can buy rum!!

   Don't run from a sniper. You'll only die tired.

   Excuse me, have you seen motivation? I seem to have lost all of mine.

   Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.

   Puberty is gonna hit Justin Bieber harder, than Chris Brown hit Rhianna!!

   Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips

   who can name the 6 great kings who ave brought immense happiness in two people's lifes ?? Drin-King, Fuc-King, Lic-King, Suc-King, Span-King and Wan-king

   The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.

   Must be nice living in never neverland, maybe I'll come visit you when I need a break from reality!