KAREN Funny Status Messages

   2 year old: Mommy, what is a loser?? Me: Well sweetie, you know your dad? 2 year old: No. Me: There ya go.

   I get it Chris Christie. Last time I puked on the carpet I blamed my cats.

   The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm writing this status from inside his trunk.

   I don't use turn signals when I drive because a lady never tells.

   Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: Do these jeans make me look fat? Cop: You're free to go.