JAB Funny Status Messages

   You know, it's just like some clowns to give Ronald McDonald a bad rap running around all creepy like. . .

   Anyone find an hour can you please return it thanks. . .

   It's national turkey club sandwich Friday. . .

   To anyone moving to Canada when Trump is elected President. Can I have first dibs on what you're not taking with you, thanks. . .

   Duct tape can't fix stupid Hillary Clinton supporters, but it can muffle the sound.

   To my stalker, while you're in my neighborhood, can you deliver me a pizza. . .

   I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he's fired ! !

   Aaa the economy. The only people doing good is some black guy, his wife, two daughters.. and they live in a big white house they don't belong in. . .

   And in the news today. Keith Richards is not dead yet. . .

   Just when I got the best place to hide a body, I forgot who I lent my shovel. . .

   No one WANTS to name one thing Obama has done. Ok I will, he's done no good. . .

   Some celebrities said they were leaving the country if Trump got elected president. I didn't realize they meant die, Kanye West, we're still waiting...

   Any single women looking to sexually abuse a grown man, asking for a friend. . .

   Once upon a time a man was told to go f#ck himself and he lived happily ever after. . .

   Want to keep your man from cheating on you, give him more BJs and make him more sandwiches and reduce nagging by 100%

   Ok straight up, ladies. I love and respect all of you, but you all know how you can be when you're PMS'n. Do we really want a woman for president. I rest my case ! ! !

   To any of my single Lady friends, if your wish to have me naked for Christmas, private message me. Thanks.

   She wants to go steady she says, it will be great she said. Until she said, tell me your pass words. Over my dead body I said. . .

   You know how to pi$$ a liberal off. Make sense. . .

   I remember back in the 70's when Yoga was called Twister. . .