Heather25 Funny Status Messages

   They said not to sniff markers, but then they made scented ones...

   Thinks that you should've been swallowed at conception.

   You're not ugly, your simply hard to look at...that's ALL!!

   I only had one officer Mr. Keg..

   When you are feeling down because everyone is against you just remember that....Nationwide is on your side.

   "Duct tape" - finding a cure to noise pollution, one mouth at a time.

   Trust me, if I want your opinion-I'll remove the f*cking duct tape.

   I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

   Well then....whatever cranks your tractor.

   I'm not feeling myself today....perhaps I should feel somebody else.

   It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

   How do I set the laser printer to stun?

   I wonder what would happen if everyone decided to call in sick on Monday..

   The best thing about this status is by the time you realize it's completely worthless it's too late for you to stop reading it. ;)

   It's alright, he's only choking!

   When the patient was asked if he had had a good night he answered that he'd slept as soundly as the nurse on night duty.

   Unless you want to f*ck me, why do you care what I look like?

   I am always confused when people ask me.. "Did you sleep good?" I always wonder if they want me to say.."No, I made a few mistakes"..

   The purpose of fruit flies; to make people look insane, grabbing at the air like they are hallucinating.

   Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them??