aNGELA Funny Status Messages

   You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.

   To all those who look down on me; I'm tearin' down your balcony.

   My cellphone is mixing people up (surprise this would only happen to me) So if you get a picture of my left tit..apoligies in advance!!

   was just thinking if God didn't want us to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter…maybe thats why the Trex was always so angry?

   We were strangers when we met, now were even stranger!!

   Who told you, you were special? The lady driving that little bus?

   People say I have an attitude problem. I disagree. It's my attitude, but it's their problem!!!

   The Skort, skirt in the front, shorts in the back; it's like a mullet for your ass

   why is that everything is the same day by day, but in 5 years everything is so different?

   Says: He may wear the pants.. But I CONTROL The Zipper!! hehehe!

   **when I die don't write "R.I.P" on my grave. . write "B.R.B"**

   just kissed my man, stepped outside, closed my eyes, took a deep breath of fresh air, sipped my coffee, looked up, waved to neighbor, perfect morning! What could go wrong? Crap! forgot to put pants on!

   Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.

   If she fu@ks like she complains, you're in for a treat!!

   thinks that time flies when you're having a drunken blackout.

   Do you ever have days that when someone says Hi, all you want to say back is, "I wish I was."

   I like my women like I like my coffee...tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes behind a donkey.

   dont waste your time , because time is money, and money is awesome , so dont waste your awesome

   am I the only one who gets the urge to kick small children when I see them walking really slowly in front of me?

   when the only thing you have is a hammer every moron resembles a nail