Mduduzi Funny Status Messages

   not an alcoholic, just a drunk that's scared of a hangover?

   Dear Beer,I forgive You for abandoning me during tough times during the week, I love You for coming back on weekend and will French kiss You, till sobriety do us apart!

   * Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

   If a woman wants a man who can take orders, they should marry a waiter!

   needs advice and help, but not from you.

   A woman who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right.... But she is more often left.

   Who was the best comedian/stage performer in the Bible? ANS: Samson. He brought the house down.

   The definiton of success: The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted: So to be successful, set low standards, to be a failure and frustrated, set very high standards.

   The Chinese are so advanced in technology, that they are already selling "Fifa World Cup 2010, South Africa - All the goals and highlights"

   I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his c**k wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

     It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.

   The only thing I won't eat for breakfast is lunch and supper!

   A man has been admitted to hospital with HYPOTHERMIA AND FROSTBITES after he was left CHILLING at HOME for the whole day by his wife! A COLD CASE FILE has been opened!