@kraziedavid909 Funny Status Messages

   Fresh out the shower √ Ice cold beer √ BBQ grill ready √ Sunday NFL Football √ √ √....---> IT'SGO TIME<---

   she said I don't give my number to strangers and I'm like we have been facebook friends for like 1 week already..lol

   You got to live life on both sides of the coin, you never know which side its going to land on

   i hate how I walk by the computer and forget what I was planning on doing and instanly check here and facebook lol.

   Hey, what I do in my car at a red light is my business. Even if it technically did get all over the dashboard and the driver in the next car

   I put my phone on airplane mode then threw it accross the room..Worst transformer ever!

   Girl:i"d French kiss you. Guy: I'd Australian kiss you Girl: What's that? Guy: A french kiss only down under ;)

   Passed out at 9pm. Woke up 10:30pm to sound of wife's vibrator. Went back to sleep.

   you know your high when you wait for a stop sign to change color.

   i can sound like a broken record,i can sound like a broken record, I can sound like a broken record,i can sound like a broken record...

   The best part about it being monday is Monday Night FOOTBALL! yeah buddie :)

   I'm on the road to happiness and ain't a stop sign in sight :-)

   If all the good ones are taken does that make me bad cause I'm single...lol

   The best part of waking up...isBUDLIGHT in your cup!

   The key to a womens heart is... giving her all of yours! <3

   I have Monday phobia ima shut my eyes and when I open them please be Thursday :-)

   tis the season to be horny

   If you can rate this with your tounge you're a great kisser ;)

   "There must be a very short line for your job."

   so much for black friday at a bar