goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Man Rule #4: Never be the last one on your street to bring the trash bins in.

   "To Hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat same as worms."-Josie Wales

   Today is the worst day ever! (wait for the "what's wrong?" reply. Then post "Today, I finished off the Thanksgiving leftovers".

   I'm currently killing a twelve pack, and every squirrel within fifty yards of my porch. Love me some Saturdays.

   Wish life could be simple like the good ol' days. Like page 756!

   Today's lunch: Redman and Dr. Pepper..slimy yet satisfying.

   Well, it's 12:30pm and I have seven dollar bills to my name. I guess it's that age old question: Lunch? Or Lotto scratchers.

   ...it's ok that it's not movie quality!.

   An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

   Why is it when I'm on my lunch break my wall is hella quiet. Then from 12:30 to 3:30 all sorts of drama happens...jerks, I wanna be in the loop!

   Teach me to fish...With the price of fishing licences, it would be cheaper to just buy the little b@stards!

   If I ever get caught soliciting a prostitute, I'm going to say "These aren't the droids I've been looking for!".

   The only phrase I remember growing up was, "Don't put your hands back there!".

   I guess I'm still butt-hurt over that bad call back in '83 during a game of dodgeball. That fricken Jenny Harden was out by a mile...

   Hey FB friend, the only time I've acknowledged you ever was thirty seconds after I accepted your friend request I scanned through your photos with negative results.

   Wow..Thought I just seen a cool bass boat next to me, turns out to be a 64 Impala!

   Okay, Brand, Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did!

   As a Truck Driver, let me say after several days of mid 90 degree temps, beaver season is in full swing.

   Personally, I'd like to see Gillette come out with an eight-ply roll of toilette paper.

   I wish the string on my weedeater had a Hollywood clip.