theycallme411 Funny Status Messages

   I almost missed work this morning because "somebody" changed the order of my "day of the week" undies.

   Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn't on purpose!

   figured out the answer to the question, "Why does my dog like to put his head out the car window and he doesn't like when I blow in his face?" Answer: Halitosis!

   saw the new George Foreman grill in the store last night and the box says it can reduce fat by 42%. It's a lie...I leaned against the box and nothing happened!

   just saw Elvis, Marilyn and Bin Laden at Walmart...I have pics...but for politically correct reasons I cannot post them!