Silhouette Funny Status Messages

   if I hear one more person say "its not that kind of party...put your pants back on"....i'm gonna lose it.

   did anyone else besides me use a brown marker to draw nipples on the neighborhood girls Barbies when they were kids?

   Am I the only person who will admit to intentionally peeing outside when it is cold just because I think it is neat to watch the steam rise?

   Thank you everyone who group text me with Merry Christmas. I just woke up to hundreds of "you too" texts from people I don't know....fml

   Merry Christmas......now that this is out of the way....I can justify the rest of my day with alcohol and shenanigans.

   Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie, romantic.....but do it on a bus and the judge doesn't agree.

   Fellas......if she wears bracelettes she's most likely in to handcuffs too. Run like hell.

   I shot Big Foot and dumped him in the ocean before I could get any pictures.