Ajdo Funny Status Messages

   I knew my Girl was cheating on me when she said she was at the mall with Chelsea but Chelsea was laying right next to me. SMH

   Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore I was wearing one but I was still shot by the woman's husband

   I don't think my Neighbor's wife watches porn, I have been cleaning her pool for 3 hours now and she still hasn't invited me inside :/

   "Hey Baby, My Magic watch says you don't have any underwear on" "Oh, You do?" "It must be 15 Minutes fast ' :)

   Pro tip:When women want to be held, hold em When they're sad, love em When they're drunk, try for butthole. It's easier when they're drunk \ :D /

   Breaking News : Shots Fired at Capitol Hill, In Other Words Olympus Has Fallen \ :O /

   So I Went to pick up my date for homecoming, Her father said make sure she is home and in bed before 11PM, I Said " Don't worry Sir, I'll have her in bed by 830" :D