JAB Funny Status Messages

   The Cosby Show. Where are they now? As far away from Billy Cosby as they can get. . .

   Today marks the two year anniversary of the end of the world... and I am still waiting. . .

   I was just reading, 3 Steps to Repair Your Metabolism. My three steps are. Get a beer, open beer and drink said beer. . .

   I'm going to as many Halloween parties as I can. I'll be in the invisible man. You'll just have to imagine I'm there. . .

   Ladies, it's October, breast cancer awareness month, I'm giving free breast exams. . .

   Some of you women need to stay out of my dreams, oh sorry.. I meant fantasies. . .

   I wish people were more social on social sights. . .

   Peyton Manning had to be a pot smoker, why else would someone buy a chain of pizza stores for. Of course, for free pizza when he is high . . .

   I often wonder how that happens. He looks 100, she looks 30. Oh right, money can buy you anything. Than she is not worth it no matter how beautiful she is. . .

   My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .

   My definition of RAP: Rotten Audio Products

   I met this great woman, I sweet talk her and say all the right things. She says I wish there were more men like you. I sent her a poem and she no longer wants to see me. So much for having feelings. . .

   There any women out here looking to $exually abuse a grown man. Asking for a friend. . .

   I recently had a bad break up with Mari Juana. I am going to miss her.

   So, who wants to play go F#ck yourself. Oh my sarcasm never ceases to amaze me. . .

   It's time for Ray Rice to be Challenged. Lets see how many punches he can take before he is knocked out. . .

   Joan Rivers passed away at 81, but her face was only 12. . .

   Since when did everything I was taught growing up that was wrong to do suddenly became Ok. . .

   To my stalker, while you're in my neighborhood, can you deliver me a pizza. . .

   If there is anything to learn from celebrities is. Do not take nude photos of yourself. The FBI had better things to do. . .