FLIPPHONESCOTT Funny Status Messages

   Today is going to be a non-labor day

   If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

   i will never buy a foam finger again !

   Only a few things Reeses cups will not fix!

   buying bottles rockets and crown royal! good day to be a grown-up

   how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat ?

   maybe I will knock one out before sportscenter

   I got health insurance again! I get to go to a english speaking doctor

   if any body needs me I will be over here waiting for football season

   think comcast went back to dial up today...... just saying

   wow danica patrick just got a rubber in the rear end in vegas on tv!

   my underwear is kinda half- assing it today

   kids at the front door selling drugs!!!! I got 3 boxes of thin mints coming!

   The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I'm the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don't feel trained for this, and I certainly didn't sign up for the position.

   Diet is going great! No hostess snack cakes at all this year

   ‎2013 is the chinese year of the snake. I hope I can quit putting dragon on my checks

   my new years resolution is to keep my my new years resolution!

   kinda pissed off right now! going to put on red polo and walk around target and vent!

   Bed good outside bad!

   Colorado Legalizes Marijuana and peyton manning buys 20 papa johns stores in Colorado! some people just get it!