Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.

   Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are dating now,& apparently it's getting serious. Kanye is who she wants to spend the rest of the month with.

   You win some, you booze some.

   A woman's heart is as tender, vulnerable and fragile as a man's balls. Don't break hers and she won't break yours.

   When you're with the right person, you feel the perfect balance of happy and horny.

   Keeping me happy is simple, don't mess with my food.

   How to trick an idiot → (Click here for more...)

   Let's get drunk and cuddle, coz I want to cuddle your brains out tonight.

   Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.

   You know sex is on the menu when she slingshots her bra across the room.

   Women are as horny as men; they just hide their b0ners better.

   You know something is seriously wrong, when you double the value of your car every time you fill up the tank.

   An expert has predicted computers will eventually replace paper altogether. He has obviously never tried to wipe his ass with a laptop!

   Please don't bore your friends with your troubles and worries. Tell your enemies instead, who will be delighted to hear about them.

   No human society exists without booze or religion. That's why we drink religiously.

   Best pick up line? Lets go eat. I'm paying!

   When someone texts you 'k', just reply, "L M N O P Q R S T you V W X why Z"

   If you are talking to me and I appear as if I'm attentively listening, I'm probably just silently correcting your grammar in my head.

   Look, I'm just saying that somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross and a giant bunny hiding eggs... There seems to be a gap of information!

   69… you get what you give!