Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   I only have one sexual preference and that's as often as possible please.

   I'll pretend to find you funny if you pretend to like me.

   Eat s hit and live! - dung beetles

   "I only cheated on you with girls" is the most beautiful thing a woman has ever said to me.

   I hope skinny jeans are going to be around for a while because I sure as hell can't get these things off.

   If ladies were labeled heroes instead of sluts for sleeping around too much, us guys would be having a lot more sex. Someone screwed up here.

   Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. Spooning For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and an awkward erection you can't do anything about.

   You have a face that makes me want to learn karate.

   Coffee makes the world go round; love only populates it!

   You never know what you have until you log off Facebook.

   I hate when people say 'I'm a vegetarian except for fish.' Right, and I'm a virgin except for all that sex I had.

   They key to forgiving somebody is to remember that sometimes, you're an a$$hole, too.

   Show me on this doll where the evil Monday touched you.

   It's important to keep your relationship fresh. So, always look for creative new ways to get even.

   Knowledge is my weapon of choice in a battle of wits. I see you brought ignorance. This is gonna be a massacre!

   What doesn't kill you makes you pour a stronger drink.

   What I want is a woman who loves me for my money, but is really really bad at math.

   This girl just gave me her number but it's only 6 digits. I am not sure if she's playing games or just retarded.

   If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy?

   Ok, but like, on a scale of 1 to 10, how married are you?