JAB Funny Status Messages

   It's national turkey club sandwich Friday. . .

   Everyone done going turkey hunting in the frozen section ?

   No, Sorry.. I don't watch dancing with the.. who gives a f#ck. .

   The ole saying is: if you can't beat em join em, but don't join the stupid liberals protesting. . .

   U - Haul is looking for drivers to bring back vehicles from Canada. . .

   Who needs help moving to Canada because Trump won, call me. . .

   I did a little studying on Einstein's theory of relativity. I discovered that I am not related to him. . .

   Anyone find an hour can you please return it thanks. . .

   Repaired a vacuum cleaner today. It was easy, I just stuck one of Hillary bumper stickers on it.. Now it sucks just fine. . .

   To anyone moving to Canada when Trump is elected President. Can I have first dibs on what you're not taking with you, thanks. . .

   You know, it's just like some clowns to give Ronald McDonald a bad rap running around all creepy like. . .

   If Hillary were President, she would be all, I am sorry, I am not sorry, I am sorry, I am not sorry, I am sorry, I am not sorry, What the hell, I am PMS'n leave me the f#ck alone. . .

   Ok straight up, ladies. I love and respect all of you, but you all know how you can be when you're PMS'n. Do we really want a woman for president. I rest my case ! ! !

   Ladies, ladies, ladies. Seriously, some of your status updates makes me wonder. Maybe you just need to get laid. . .

   I know what I am going to be for Halloween, I'm going to be drunk. . .

   Black Beatles Lives Matter. Black Eyed Peas Matter. Black Leather Jackets Matter. Now Black Off And Leave Me The F#ck Alone. . .

   If I were of Chinese descend and a multi Millionaire. I would change my name to Cha Ching. . .

   What does Elizabeth Warren and Rachel Dolezal have in common? Neither one of them knows they're white. . .

   it too late to claim that I invented the wheel. . .

   If Hillary is elected president I am moving to Canada. . .