pUnKiE Funny Status Messages

   What did the duck say to the prostitute? "Put it on my bill"

   How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.

   How many women does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, she just holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

   There is a wondrous tranquility being in a work restroom stall in an empty restroom. The song of evacuational freedom may ring unbridled and resonant.

   To the gal who posted that guys are "creepy" on facebook, dont flatter yourself. You're not all that.

   Dealing with haters is all about mind over matter. I don't mind cuz you don't matter.

   What does Barbara Bush and Charlie Sheen have in common? They both like to blow a little dope.

   Why do they no longer offer drivers ed and sex ed in schools in Mexico? The donkey died....

   Did you hear about the elephant with diarrhea? It's all over town.

   If a robin makes red babies and a bluebird makes blue babies, what kind of bird makes no babies? A swallow.

   What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

   Whats the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches......

   I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.

   A womans legs are her best friends but sometimes even the best of friends must part.

   The definition of irony: Not knowing the difference between a definition and an example.

   I think long engagements are important because you should really get to know someone before you totally use and degrade them.

   OK, Super Moon has arrived. Not quite what I expected ., it was kinda super. Not Super Duper but yeah.

   Awkward....That moment when you think you are being helpful by telling someone they "got a lil dirt on their forehead" and they tell you it's Ash Wednesday.

   Confucious say , he who eat jelly bean, fart in living color.

   Busted, Disgusted, and most of all, I can't be trusted.