@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   That depressing moment when your parents don't appreciate the hilarious child they have been blessed with :P

   You can't be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn't work that way. You're already hard to want..." -Peter Griffin

   Spongebob: hey can I talk with you for a second? Squidward: I dont know thats a pretty long time

   "Are you as bored as I am?" Read that backwards, it still makes sense.

   Guilty people answer questions with a question

   I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness, so I don't intimidate you ;P

   My life will not be complete until I've walked away from an explosion in slow motion

   Guy: I love u. Girl: Aww really? Boy: Yep, Its my favorite vowel.

   Wondering if your adopted because your the only sexy one in the family.

   If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I will just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.

   "Hey, what's up?" "Gas prices." "You know what I mean, like.. What's crackin'?" "Nutshells." "Really? Fine. What's poppin'?" "Corn."

   "OMG your fake tan looks so good!" LOL JK, it looks like you got raped by an orange

   While someone is speaking to me, 80% of my inner dialogue is just wondering if my face looks interested

   Dear Millionaires, if you don't have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because you're spending it wrong.

   #iwasntthatDrunk "Dude, you made your girlfriend a sandwich!"

   When People Say, "When I Was Little I..." And I'm Just Sitting There Awkwardly Like, "I Still Do That"....

   The Feeling You Get When You're Paying For Something And Can't Find Your Money...

   When Someone Asks For Candy That I'm Eating, I Give Them The Flavor I Don't Like

   In bed it's 6am, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, its 7:45. At school it's 11:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 11:30

   When I see your face, there's nothing that I would change. LOL JK, I'd change the direction I'm walking in.