whitecube387 Funny Status Messages

   Percentage of my texts that include the phrase "LOL" - 75% . Percentage of times I'm actually laughing out loud- 0.001%

   My local Walmart has 28 checkout aisles except for when it's really busy then it only has 2 

   With all these laws cracking down on texting while driving, I think it's a little bit ironic that every police car I see has a open laptop attached to the dashboard. You telling me that's not a distraction? 

   I hate when I don't forward a chain letter and the next day I die.

   Would it kill them to put an extra 5 feet of rubber hose on the gas pumps so I dont have to look like a complete idiot whenever I pull up and my gas tank is on the wrong side

   Would it kill the gas stations to put an extra 5 feet of rubber hose on the pumps so I dont have to look like a complete idiot whenever I pull up to the gas pump and my tank is on the wrong side

   Women say looks don't matter and all they want is a guy who is smart and funny. But all they end up doing is laughing at whatever the stupid good looking guy says.

   Dear Mr. Vending Machine genius-Please do not place all the fragile delicate goodies (such as poptarts, cookies, chips) on the top two rows. Everytime a delicious munchy falls and prematurely break and angel loses its wings :'(

   loves the Snooze button on his alarm clock because there is nothing like starting out your day with a little procrastination

   dreams of one day moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.