Stalk_me Funny Status Messages

   just seen on news a midget got pickpocketed, how could anyone stoop so low?

   My teacher always said to me; " nothing is impossible!" He he I showed them, I've been doing it for years

   Make the little things count. Teach midgets maths

   No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook

   If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can only hope that they divide us by music genres.

   Anytime a bird takes a crap on my car, I eat an entire plate of scrambled eggs on my porch. Just to show the birds what I'm capable of.

   Among words that sound dirty but aren't, I think "kumquat" is my favorite.

   I have just found out that yelling "I'm gonna scissor you!" at someone isn't as threatening as I first thought...

   just reading this article on body language, and I was really surprised at how much you can tell about a person just by there hands. For example, if you're trying to talk to someone, and their hands are around your neck, then they probably slightly upset

   If it's called a walkie talkie,. How come a vacuum isn't called a Pushy sucky?