Momofthewildthings Funny Status Messages

   I tripped over the "Hump" in Hump Day and landed face first into Thirsty Thursday. Time to pick myself and my drink up so I can fall into Friday.

   I went to the Red Cross to donate blood and was refused. Something to do with my Vodka to Plasma ratio being to high.

   There should be a Breast Cancer Awareness T-shirt that says "Yes they're fake! My real one's tried to kill me!"

   As I sit here eating Cheerios out of a plastic bowl, it makes me miss my kids in their toddler years. I think I'll get a High-Chair and make them eat dinner in it. I hope the weight limit is higher than 150lbs. Teenagers weigh a lot.

   The Insomnia Train has arrived. I didn't want to board, but I was shoved. Now I'm sitting here, I have no clue where I'll end up and I don't like the company. I sure wish it was The Crazy Train instead.

   I really don't give a flying fig WHO is in the Super Bowl. I just want to know who's hosting the party.

   I always laugh at myself. If I didn't, everyone else would be having fun without me.

   just got a letter from The Man in Red "You have been placed on the naughty list....permanently" I can't say this was unexpected.

   If I select the "Advance Pat Down" option instead of the Full Body Scanner, do I get some Barry White music and a nice glass of Merlot?

   "Thank You" is such an insignificant phrase, yet we put so much into it. When we say "Thank You" to a vet or active duty officer, what comes out is 2 simple words, but what is meant is a world of un-seen gratitude, hope, peace and safety. No, "Thank You"