JACKSJE4 Funny Status Messages

   I haven't wanted a Twinkie in years.... until I was told I couldn't have them anymore.

   Paula Broadwell, General Petraeus' biographer, has been hired to write Bill Clinton's biography. Bill can't wait.

   All through their lives while raising my kids, I consistently told them that when they grow up they should “do what you love.” I probably should have also mentioned that they should run like hell as soon as they heard the sirens.

   All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental.

   too lazy to inform everyone that I am cleaning my friend list, so feel free to unfriend yourselves.

   A lipbite can be sexy, unless you're bitting your upper lip. Wonder how many people just tried that.

   I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you.

   so its valentines day.. does that mean I am suppose to have a heart on?

   I have been teased by friends and family that I spend way too much time on Facebook and that I really need to get a life. I am happy to say that I DO have a life outside of Facebook, but unfortunately I have forgotten the password for it.

   If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct? A) 25% B) 50% C) 60% D) 25%