Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages

   Marys dragging me to some play tonight #bored #killme

   Funny how when I see someone from High School I suddenly hve a great job and am trying to stick a key in a car I in the parking lot that I could never afford!

   The Mars Rover reports there are only 167 Starbucks on Mars!

   I married my wife for her looks........just not the ones she's been giving me lately!

   How many divorced men does it atke to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!

   I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!

   It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!

   Olympian's earn their medals every 4yrs........In Afghanistan our servicemen earn their medals every day!!!

   I walked into the Dentist's office and he asked me what the problem was and I said ''Doc, I think I'm a Giant Moth!'' He said ''You need a Psychiatrist not a Dentist, why did you come in here?'' I told him ''The light was on!!!''

   No matter how old you are an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a Sword!