@shaunpatrick01 Funny Status Messages

   If I was a cave man. I'd be the one who hunts sloths. In my condition, those buggers are fast

   drugs, sex and music doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk

   Don't fight stupidity with anger, fight it with sarcasm. Much more fun

   They say lethal injection causes no pain. How do they know?

   People just dont get practical jokes any more, prank calls, super glue on the toilet, the electic toaster in the bath... Sigh

   i just spelled a word so incorrectly that spell check just enrolled me back into school

   If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me

   People in relationships are so lucky they don't have to worry about what they look like anymore.

   The drunk text from a guy you decided not to go home with is like the ankle grab from someone you just shot

   You know the bars are closing when you see drunk girls in high heels walking down the street with the grace of newborn baby giraffes.