jdirt Funny Status Messages

   Doing the old....how many woman have I slept with count....God I hate fractions

   Damn white cars that look like cop cars! I just chugged my beer super fast for nothing

   I don't get the toilet seat issue that woman have. I won't put my naked butt on anything without looking at it first. Apparently some woman ar not so discriminating

   If you cant dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bull$hit. -Abraham Lincoln

   You may be an open book but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner macanations of my mind are an enigma

   Tough times never last but tough people do

   You may be an open book but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma

   The best things in life aren't free, they're 16 bucks a case and either 60 bucks at the cat house or the cost of room and board at home.

   Say this fast- { I, 1, 2, 1/2, 6} *Like* if you get it

   She goes down faster than power windows

   Her legs are like the waffle house.. Open 24/7 but people only eat there when they're drunk

   I was at the red light beside a car load of mexicans when a semi ran over top them. I thought, dang that could've been me. So I got my CDL's

   There are three very important things you can always give but still keep at the same time...Your word, a smile and your heart

   When I was a kid people who wore there hat crooked, pants half off, and shoes untied rode the short bus

   Drinking and driving is twice the fun in the snow

   if you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it

   I'm multi-talented, I can talk and piss you off at the same time