JAB Funny Status Messages

   I'm beginning to think my type is just a font. . .

   Once upon a time there were three little pigs at a pig roast, end of story. . .

   Can someone please post a picture of your breakfast for me.. to encourage me to get to make my own. . .

   She wants to go steady she says, it will be great she said. Until she said, tell me your pass words. Over my dead body I said. . .

   The greatest feeling in the world is when your girlfriend tells you, you're better in bed than her husband. . .

   Think I will get a night job being a cuddler. After 8 hrs the $ex is free. . .

   If Zombies eat brains, I know a lot of people who have nothing to worry about. . .

   Well, I've come to the conclusion that nobody can tell me how to get to Sesame St. . .

   I use white eggs, does that make me prejudice ?

   I use brown eggs occasionally, if I am going to egg someone's car. . .

   If there's a Joe Smoe from Idaho. He must be pi$$ed off !

   My favorite holiday is, National Egg Salad Lunch Monday. . .

   Duct tape can't fix stupid Hillary Clinton supporters, but it can muffle the sound.

   If the first person who said: As god is my witness he should strike me down with a bolt of lightning actually got struck, there'd be a lot of dead people in the world for lying or a very lot of honest people. . . So where is this god you speak of.

   Love the share your memories. Hey, I deleted that stupid f#cking comment of yours from four years ago. Do you have a guilty conscience.. lol. . .

   I'm going to the Aquarium, do some fishing. . .

   I think people can be politically correct all they want. As long as they shut the f#ck up about it. . .

   I bought new c#m catchers, I mean socks. . .

   I had 2 Justin Bieber tickets on the front seat of my car, some jacka$$ smashed my window and left 4 more

   I may lose friends. But.. People who want to BE politically correct need a red hot iron stoker stuck up their a$$es. . .