JOser Funny Status Messages

   I'm so confused, I thought the Crip Walk was a marathon for gang members

   When you put 'aspiring' in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: I'm unemployed.

   The guy driving in front of me is totally following me

   Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other coworkers" and I circled "absolutely false"?

   My new study method for finals is put a question on the outside of a beer bottle and the answer at the bottom

   Dear Patron, now that you helped me gain my confidence, can you please help me find my car?

   Justin Bieber should be treated like AM radio and nobody should ever listen to them...

   The guy driving in front of me is totally following me...

   Back before clocks and calendars I bet people used wonder why one day out of seven always sucked

   Comparing Sarah Jessica Parker to a horse is insulting and lame. Horses are majestic, beautiful creatures unworthy of your contempt

   This isn't quite what I wanted to be when I grew up, but it was the best I could do on such short notice.

   I am embarrassed for my co-workers. I am the only person in the building who remembered to wear a toga today.

   I'm so confused, I thought the Crip Walk was a marathon for gang members

   Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.

   If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you... dumn*ss...

   I find Reality tv very educating... Every time somebody turns on a show, I go into the other room and read a book...

   Urban Commandment: Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

   I like you... People say I've got no taste, but I like you...

   found out that it's easier to get forgiveness than permission...

   There's too much blood in my caffeine system...