JAB Funny Status Messages

   No bids on Jay Cutler autographed football at charity event. Because he didn't sign it Tom Brady. . .

   Once you go black, the white man don't want you back !

   No one WANTS to name one thing Obama has done. Ok I will, he's done no good. . .

   Who wants to see a picture of my toasted bagel with cream cheese. . .

   I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he's fired ! !

   When life hands you lemons. Freeze them until they're rock solid and throw them at people you don't like. . .

   Last year it was the ice bucket challenge. This year it's the bucket of hot coals challenge. You go first. . .

   Ladies, if you're in compitition to get as many friend on your frinds list, post naked pictures of yourself. . .

   Ladies, if you're in competition to get as many friends on your friends list as possible, post naked pictures of yourself. . .

   I am looking for contributors to the go F#ck yourself foundation I am starting. . .

   Some times I just want to control alt delete my life and hit Esc. . .

   The saying goes, there's someone out there for everyone. Maybe your someone is way out there, on another planet. . .

   When emptying email spam folder, why does anyone need to be asked are you sure you want to empty this folder. We do not need to be asked are you sure. Yes I am f#cking sure ! ! !

   Once upon a time a man was told to go f#ck himself and he lived happily everafter. . .

   Before you knew it, the here and now was 30 yrs ago. . .

   I am claiming everything ever written by Author Unknown !

   Want to keep your man from cheating on you, give him more BJs and make him more sandwiches and reduce nagging by 100%

   I'm so old, I remember the internet when it had no commercials. . .

   A single male friend of mine is looking for a woman who can actually suck a golf ball through a garden hose. . .

   There's a closet pervert in each and every one of you. . .