SULLY Funny Status Messages

   Dear Obama, It's ok..... No one believes in me anymore either. Sincerely, Santa

   Albert Pujols $250M baseball contract is totally unfair. He should give some of those $ to players who aren't nearly as good. WTF, we should occupy his house.......

   I'm lovin' my new Air Jordans even if they do smell like Pepper Spray..........

   I'm still hoping Nike will one day come out with an Air Jordan belt....

   I wonder what Rebecca Black thinks of Samoa skipping out on Friday?.......

   Ever notice that the douchebag who says "See you next year!" on New Years Eve is always someone you wouldn't mind not seeing for the entire year?.......

   Hey..........all the political and media people are in Iowa. If we could somehow fence it off, this is our chance to start a new society. Who's down???

   You guys see the Casey Anthony video diary yet? I think she's grown. She looks like the kind of person you could start, and then murder a family with.......

   Casey Anthony referred to her computer as "something I can call mine". OMG!! That means she's going to kill her computer next, not the dog.....

   Red Cross called and asked if I could donate to the Huntsville, Alabama floods. I told them that I would, but my garden hose only reaches to the end of my driveway....

   Captain Coward's excuse that he "fell into a lifeboat" is heading into "the dog ate my homework" territory.....Don'y you think?

   Reminder - Valentine's Day is only a couple weeks away, it's not too late to break up..........

   Girl Scout cookies are a lot like crack. Only instead of a creepy sweatsuit wearing thug taking the cash, it's a cute kid with freckles & braces.........

   I ate all my girl scout cookies : ( , roughly the weight of two girl scouts.......

   Goodnight.......I have to get up early to siphon gas from my Mexican neighbors lawnmower just to get to work tomorrow.

   True Fact: The Shamrock Shake at McDonald's taste like leprechaun vomit, and it makes your turd green..........

   Words of wisdom - if you take a bath when you're high on cocaine, make sure you wear a life jacket.......

   just had the new Doritos taco........, but I still don't get the ad where they drive 900 miles to buy one. Why not just buy a bag of Doritos and pour yard waste in it?

   Depending on whether I win the Mega Millions..... I'll either be having my birthday party this year at the Space Station or the local VFW. Standby

   I had a great joke, but Ryan Leaf stole it......