aNGELA Funny Status Messages

   Time is never wasted when your wasted all the time!!

   DRINK TO FORGET BUT NEVER FORGET TO DRINK.

   was just thinking if God didn't want us to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter…maybe thats why the Trex was always so angry?

   found $20 under my bed ! my God, my room is so desperate to be cleaned, it's paying me. THE PLAN WORKED

   dont waste your time , because time is money, and money is awesome , so dont waste your awesome

   For every LIKE I receive. I shall drink one Jager-Bomb (Jagermeister + Redbull)

   Just rescued a beer that was trapped in the fridge!

   I wonder if Edward Cullen's Load looks like glitter glue??

   If YOU didn't SEE it w/your own eyes, or HEAR it w/your own ears, then WHY would you INVENT IT w/your SMALL MIND or SHARE it with YOUR BIG MOUTH !

   My mom used to say I'm wasting my life playing video games. Then I thought "no sweat, I've got 2 more lives."

   who can name the 6 great kings who ave brought immense happiness in two people's lifes ?? Drin-King, Fuc-King, Lic-King, Suc-King, Span-King and Wan-king

   thinking of adding you to his to-do list.

   Cut my life into pizza's, this is my plastic fork. Oven baking, heavy breathing, dont give a f**k if it's carbs that I'm eatting;)

   Puberty is gonna hit Justin Bieber harder, than Chris Brown hit Rhianna!!

   My cellphone is mixing people up (surprise this would only happen to me) So if you get a picture of my left tit..apoligies in advance!!

   You can't turn a ho into a housewife unless you're playing Scrabble.

   CRAP.... look who's online..LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT....."Hey whats up?..s***!!

   Some of the ugliest faces in this world hide behind a 12 pack of beer

   apparently I'm not wearing a sweater vest but rather a "quilted wife beater" priceless

   when the only thing you have is a hammer every moron resembles a nail