JAB Funny Status Messages

   I think I will go for a drive, just to pick my nose. . .

   Fact is. We'll all get to do the kick the bucket challenge. . .

   Boy the way Led Zeppelin played, songs that debuted on MTVeeem, guys like us were getting laid. . . those were the days. . .

   75% of women who smoke swallow. . .

   If there is anything to learn from celebrities is. Do not take nude photos of yourself. The FBI had better things to do. . .

   To my stalker, while you're in my neighborhood, can you deliver me a pizza. . .

   Since when did everything I was taught growing up that was wrong to do suddenly became Ok. . .

   Joan Rivers passed away at 81, but her face was only 12. . .

   It's time for Ray Rice to be Challenged. Lets see how many punches he can take before he is knocked out. . .

   So, who wants to play go F#ck yourself. Oh my sarcasm never ceases to amaze me. . .

   I recently had a bad break up with Mari Juana. I am going to miss her.

   There any women out here looking to $exually abuse a grown man. Asking for a friend. . .

   I met this great woman, I sweet talk her and say all the right things. She says I wish there were more men like you. I sent her a poem and she no longer wants to see me. So much for having feelings. . .

   My definition of RAP: Rotten Audio Products

   My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .

   I often wonder how that happens. He looks 100, she looks 30. Oh right, money can buy you anything. Than she is not worth it no matter how beautiful she is. . .

   Peyton Manning had to be a pot smoker, why else would someone buy a chain of pizza stores for. Of course, for free pizza when he is high . . .

   I wish people were more social on social sights. . .

   Some of you women need to stay out of my dreams, oh sorry.. I meant fantasies. . .

   Ladies, it's October, breast cancer awareness month, I'm giving free breast exams. . .