aNGELA Funny Status Messages

   My second favourite household chore is laundry. My first favourite is being hit in the head repeatedly by the ceiling fan blades until I faint.

   's going on vacation and coming back on probation.

   If the mini skirt gets any shorter...women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, & a little more hair to comb"

   when the roomates away, in my underwear I will stay

   What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They can both smell it, but can't eat it!

   Says: He may wear the pants.. But I CONTROL The Zipper!! hehehe!

   Random thought of the day: If someone threw a rock and knocked you off your donkey, would you be stoned off your ass?

   My night and shining armor, ending up being a retard in tin foil;)

   being a mother is like Hotel California, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave:S

   it's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now sounds a little better than, it's 1:15, I'm trashed & horny...

   You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.

   God: An invisible friend for adults

   Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.

   I just saw a message in my alphabet soup. It says OOOOOO. Oh wait….I'm eating Cheerios

   I was given 4 E's and LSD last night… Such an awful start to a game of scrabble.

   To all those who look down on me; I'm tearin' down your balcony.

   says 'gardening' is what it's called when adults want to play in the dirt!

   The Skirt, skirt in the front, shorts in the back; it's like a mullet for your ass!!

   an apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough

   Do you ever have days that when someone says Hi, all you want to say back is, "I wish I was."