aNGELA Funny Status Messages

   Tonight I'm leaving my sobriety at home, along with my indoor voice and any behavior that can be mistaken as 'ladylike'.

   Who told you, you were special? The lady driving that little bus?

   going to church does not make you religious anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger

   Don't run from a sniper. You'll only die tired.

   How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a pinky monkey named Spunky ran into the forest and chucked all the wood before the woodchuck could?

   You can't spell "culture" without "cult".

   'I like my men like I like my coffee... ground up and in the freezer.'

   I like my women like I like my coffee...tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes behind a donkey.

   just finished her first book!!! man, that was alot of coloring!!

   Dear Winter, I am breaking up with you. It's not me, it's you, you make me miserable. I think it's time I start seeing other seasons.

   cigarettes are just like ferrets, perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and set it on fire...

   I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth

   Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

   Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable

   If it werent for the gutter my mind would be homeless!!!

   People say I have an attitude problem. I disagree. It's my attitude, but it's their problem!!!

   Are both your parents retarded? Because you seem very special?

   Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored, and go for a stroll out through my mouth. This is rarely a good thing.

   Irony: a fat guy at walmart getting his blood pressure checked with two big bags of doritos in his other hand:D

   ...and then Buffy staked Edward. The end