Corey C Funny Status Messages

   Dear Captain Crunch. Your little squares are tasty little morsals of joy and happiness. But eating a pile of gravel from my yard would be less painfull. Please work on that.

   Want to fight? Stick your head up your butt and fight for air.

   There are 3 kinds of people in the world. One is the solution to the problem, one is the problem, while the other is wondering what was the problem???

   Wondering If I can get a clock that tells woman time. You know, "be back in a minute"=1-2hours. " be right there"=anywhere between 25 to 45 minutes. and of course the imfamous, "Lets just stop by and say hi."= 6hours plus. And last but not least, "just

   if your happy and you know it click you "like".........

   Remembering how easy life was in kindergarten. As long as you had the biggest box of crayons and the coolest lunch box you ruled the school......

   Happy+Friday=much fun......

   Did my good deed for the day. Rescued a poor little beer from the fridge.....It's name was miller lite and it was a cool little dude.

   had the urge to clean today untill I turned on NFL REDZONE. The urge soon passed, I did clean my plate off at lunch time......does that count?????

   Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween and handed out candy..........

   got to the bottom of the mountain of laundry and found my favorite sock I thought the dryer ate. Raising both fists in the air and giving a Gladiatorial roar of victory I soon discovered I washed my wallet.....

   Wanted, Teenager owners manuel for models 1993 thru 1996. Must be kid tested and mother approved.

   Remembers the dude that answered his door in sweats and a motley crue tshirt who forgot it was Halloween? He rumages through his cupboards and out of guilt gives you 10 pop tarts and a tube of pringles...........Halloween Jackpot.........

   Love how you keep me warm and make me feel safe. Never a scornfull word or negative comment. Always pick me up when I am feeling down. You smell good all the time and are steaming with pleasure.......Coffee, I think I love you........

   The nice thing about being overweight is, if challenged, you can crush the competition....on a lighter note, you can then finish your donut......

   Got a friend request the other day from someone I didn't know. Checked out her friends list to see a connection and she had a collection of Corey's. Scary, she wanted me to become her 312th Corey friend in her Corey collection.........Makes me a little un

   Heard a dude in the stall next to me in the Walmart Bathroom say "There can be only One".. He is either a Highlander or he needs some more toilet paper.......

   when judging someone for falling down remember someday you may need them to help you up.

   dear lady in the store yelling at your child, take a time out and comb the snakes in your hair, it is time for you to defeat the kraken

   Life is to short to bicker and cry before we die.....