@cdowney84 Funny Status Messages

   my doctor: "do you have any pains after sexual intercourse?'' me: "well, they usually don't call back afterwards, and that kinda hurts."

   ‎"I'm here for you if you need anything" a.k.a. "I wanna be the next guy you bang"

   I just seen a video of Miley Cyrus singing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" on YouTube... As if a shotgun to the face wasn't tragic enough for Nirvana.

   I like my women the same way I like my hangover, gone by the time I get out of bed.

   chain wallets are a great way to let the ladies know that you've got about $7 that you don't wanna lose.