SULLY Funny Status Messages

   Maybe......Obama can put his government shutdown barricades up in federal waters and block Tropical Storm Karen!?!?

   Tony Romo is the type of person to make a perfect cake and then drop it on the way to the table....

   The only thing worse than the roll out of Obamacare would be walking around barefoot in a Major League Baseball dugout....

   Maybe the EBT card shutdown is actually a new DIET plan created by Michelle Obama?

   Pro Tip: If your EBT Card is denied... just take out your ObamaPhone and call him.

   I just dropped $2 somewhere under the passenger seat in my car, so I guess I have a savings account now.

   They say drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette takes 6 minutes off your life. By my calculations I died in 1985...... Cheers!!

   My Facebook wasn't working this morning, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people....

   Once was a man named BARACK, EVERYTHING he said was a CROCK, He talked with a SMILE as he LIED all the while...."OBAMACARE'S Great! Ask your DOC"

   I tried Obama's 1-800 number...... It's is a disaster too. Your best bet is to stuff an ObamaCare application into a bottle and throw it in the ocean.

   If we eat, we die. If we don't eat, we die. I choose death by chocolate....

   Rams Call List: 1. B̶r̶e̶t̶t̶ ̶F̶a̶v̶r̶e̶, 2. T̶e̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶B̶r̶a̶d̶s̶h̶a̶w̶, ..., 77. Jim Everett, 78. Corpse of Johnny Unitas, 79. Tim Tebow

   Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn't work...

   Can't believe 60 Minutes did a whole report on Benghazi w/out interviewing the jerk who's anti-Islam movie got some many people killed...

   Breaking news: Barack Obama Unaware He Was Elected President. “I never knew & nobody told me” said Obama.......

   It seems so much later then it actually is.....

   In the Toronto mayor's defense it was maple syrup flavored crack...

   I'm late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-6. I'm thankful for boobs

   In honor of 11/12/13..... I will buy beer for any 11, 12 and 13 year olds that ask me.

   I burn 95% of my calories removing gray and unwanted hairs from my head, face, ears and nose and the other 5% flipping people off while I'm driving......