Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   Okay I'll stop. But I'm not going to collaborate or listen.

   I live in a country where what doesn't kill you, makes off with your TV.

   I got kicked out of the procrastinators club when I showed up for our first meeting.

   I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.

   If your religion is worth killing for, then do us all a favour and start with yourself.

   Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself ……………………………………………from negative $hit.

   I like to high-five after sex because cuddling with strangers is weird.

   "Screw you and your iPhone 5" is what I'll be saying until I also get one.

   Don't get me wrong, I love football just as much as the next guy but if she want's to do it during game time, football is the last thing on my mind.

   I'd rather drown going against the current than glide along a journey I don't believe in.

   Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I'm going to the liquor store and I'm afraid it may be closed.

   Ok, but like, on a scale of 1 to 10, how married are you?

   If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy?

   This girl just gave me her number but it's only 6 digits. I am not sure if she's playing games or just retarded.

   What I want is a woman who loves me for my money, but is really really bad at math.

   What doesn't kill you makes you pour a stronger drink.

   Knowledge is my weapon of choice in a battle of wits. I see you brought ignorance. This is gonna be a massacre!

   It's important to keep your relationship fresh. So, always look for creative new ways to get even.

   Show me on this doll where the evil Monday touched you.

   They key to forgiving somebody is to remember that sometimes, you're an a$$hole, too.