JAB Funny Status Messages

   The ole saying is: if you can't beat em join em, but don't join the stupid liberals protesting. . .

   No, Sorry.. I don't watch dancing with the.. who gives a f#ck. .

   Everyone done going turkey hunting in the frozen section ?

   It's national turkey club sandwich Friday. . .

   Ladies, unless you really want to bang me, please stop poking me if you're not going to follow through. . .

   The only reason God gave women legs, is so they don't leave snail trails. . .

   I never cared to look for Waldo. . .

   I called a crematory to make an appointment, they told me they don't do live customers...

   To any of my single Lady friends, if your wish to have me naked for Christmas, private message me. Thanks.

   To all the horny female teachers out there. There are grown men who will gladly let you sexually abuse them. . .

   I gave Santa Chocolate Laxative chip cookies...

   Some celebrities said they were leaving the country if Trump got elected president. I didn't realize they meant die, Kanye West, we're still waiting...

   Ladies, I'm renting myself out tonight, who needs a New Years Eve Date. . .

   If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year. . .

   I can't wait to hear Donald trump say: Obama, you're fired !

   Taking a bullet for someone is nothing. Take a nuclear warhead to the chest, now that's impressive....

   Life was a lot easier when I believed in Santa Claus. . .

   Too bad after 146 yrs Ringling Brothers Circus is closing. Well, there is always Facebook. . .

   Too F#CKED up how much of the population has been dumb down to march for rights you already have ! ! !

   If you think about it, to come clean is not an option. . .