hovo Funny Status Messages

   I really want to punch "The Situation" in his vagina

   Facebook needs to add a maybe button for friend requests, some people deserve to wait for a decision to be made.

   Don't make the same typo I did in a text to my girlfriend: "Having a great time wish you were her."

   Kinda feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected....

   Once you lick frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin

   I wonder if butterflies get humans in their stomach when they're anxious?

   Please read! URGENT! FACEBOOK VIRUS ALERT. An email recently went out to women asking them to post the color of their bra. THIS IS A VIRUS. To fix it, you must remove your bra, then go to Settings>Enable Webcam> Record Movie> Send to me ;) lol

   Too bad you can't photoshop your ugly personality.

   Geting your wife two gifts but telling her one is for my Wife and the other is for my Lover is not a good idea. because she wont get it

   if your reading this your on facebook and have no life

   Sometimes I feel like only Google understands what I'm trying to say...

   Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox. We ask her whats she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.

   Thumbs up if your a Mex Thumbs down if you wanna kill all Mex

   Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

   Daylight savings is the lamest form of time travel.

   Dang, these gas prices are higher than Charlie Sheen.

   Today, it took 473 licks to get to the center of my Tootsie Pop. You're welcome, World.

   Copy and paste this as ur status, send it to 3 people in 10 minutes, absolutely nothing will happen! It works! Ive done it twice and both times nothing happened!

   If girls think giving birth is hard try playing call of duty on a laggy server

   I'd mind my own business if yours was a little less interesting