Destiny Funny Status Messages

   if you wanna be old and wise, you gotta be young and stupid..

   just seen two homeless people kissing so I screamed "Get a box!!"

   "The hardest part of the business is minding your own."

   If you have to wake me up to ask to borrow something, the answer is hell no.

   umm I don't consider that a one night stand... That was a audition..

   If someone throws a stone at you...Throw a flower at them,,just make sure its still in the pot ;p

   The "b" in the word "subtle" sure is dumb.

   doing laundry. nothing says "I love you" like clean underwear.

   Ohhh! who lives in the kitchen, chained to the sink? Sponge mom sweatpants!

   Going clubbing. ok, it's just to Sam's Club, but I'm trying to make it more glam.

   whiskey: the official beverage of the FML

   I refuse to jump on the 'I hate Mondays' bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally

   Whoever said 'Laughter is a medicine with no side effects' obviously never pee'd themselves from laughing

   If politicians are the answer, then it must have been a damn stupid question

   ‎90 people have swine flu(H1N1), and everyone wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom

   I'm pretty Fry for a Rice guy.

   Just found out that if you bake ice cream it does NOT make ice cream cake

   Hey, Don't blame me, I voted for the white dude!

   Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas" The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found" Well played, ninjas, well played

   My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time" I see "Time to Beat"