@kraziedavid909 Funny Status Messages

   i can sound like a broken record,i can sound like a broken record, I can sound like a broken record,i can sound like a broken record...

   My heart has a combination lock on it,figure out the code and you can have whats inside <3

   just because you put hogh octane in your metro geo doesn't mean you belong in the fast lane.

   says just because you put high octane in your metro geo doesn't mean you belong in the fast lane.

   live life in the slow lane and get left behind...

   we can't run from who we are...our destiny chooses us!

   prays for the day when all resturants have scatch and sniffs ...to get a good whiff of the meal before you order it lol

   Hey, what I do in my car at a red light is my business. Even if it technically did get all over the dashboard and the driver in the next car

   In bed and feeling all giggly. Hehe, cupcakes and boobies!

   Passed out at 9pm. Woke up 10:30pm to sound of wife's vibrator. Went back to sleep.

   Karaoke is always a great idea before the mic is placed in your hand

   k mmmmmmmmmmmmm,7 3 (OMG, MY CAT WROTE THAT, HE'S A GENIUS.)

   It's Thursday, which is "Friday Eve" in Optimisian.

   I'm thinking of writing a book. "confessions of a sexed up badger". Fictional erotica about a badger losing his virginity to young girl.....

   If you can rate this with your tounge you're a great kisser ;)

   Her legs spread so easily...I can't believe its not butter...

   There is always at least one HATER that dislikes --->SMH

   she said I don't give my number to strangers and I'm like we have been facebook friends for like 1 week already..lol

   My parents accused me of being a liar. So I looked them straight in the eye and said "Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, Easter Bunny." And walked away like a boss

   I put my phone on airplane mode then threw it accross the room..Worst transformer ever!