Funny Status Messages

   Out playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Ladin. Damn he's good!

   life sucks (mood:optimistic)

   trolling the bingo hall for cougars

   works for the DEA! Now give me all your drugs!

   boys are like slinkies...useless but fun to watch fall down stairs

   moderation is overrated....

   now friends with God, along with Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy

   not every flower can say love, but a rose does. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus does. Not every retard can read... but look at you go!

   starting group meetings at my house for people with OCD, & if anyone feels the urge to tidy up, by all means go ahead

   Great minds think a hike.

   the way it used to be.

   what we have here...is a failure to communicate....

   went to pick you a flower but it was a venus fly trap and it bit his/her head so he/she got you a blade of grass instead

   a monkey in the time of chimpazees

   under your bed

   not happy after losing a game of basketball to a japanese hooker

   now doing your slut grandmother

   now doing your slut sister

   not a complete idiot, some pieces are missing!

   killing gnomes with sporks.