Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Todays Mexican world of the day is DALLAS.....because this is dallas game the Cowboys will play this season.

   I don't know how I can keep on living, knowing I was wrong about bad consequences of legalizing weed. I hate being told "I told you so".

   I don't know about you, but I think it's patriotic to be poor and misguided.

   It's only been 1 year of Biden! Let that sink in for a bit while you decide if you want gas OR groceries.

   I’m learning how to do weight training by lifting dogs. I picked up a few pointers yesterday

   In the new woke version, The Terminator is a woman. Her line is, "I should be back but I don't know, I'll see how my day goes."

   I like having fraud protection on my credit cards but it’s a little insulting to receive an alert just because I bought name-brand toilet paper.

   I got flipped off three times by the same woman today. I’m never driving my wife to work again.

   I accidentally changed my GPS voice to “Male”. Now it just says “it’s around here somewhere, just keep driving”.

   Female NFL Referee: [Drops Penalty Flag]. Player: What did I do? Female NFL Referee: You know what you did.

   I saved my husband’s life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.

   I don't care about rules because I'm a rebel, man. Yesterday I got on a bus and I stood in front of the white line and talked to the driver about Fight Club while the bus was moving.

   Never allow making a living to become such an obsession to where it prevents you from actually living.

   Holding a grudge don't make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn't make you weak; it sets you free.

   Apparently referring to a Menage at Trois as a 2 for 1 snack pack will get your Christian Mingle profile deleted

   Singer Meat Loaf has died. He will be cremated at 375° for 1 hour. His ashes will be mixed with mashed potatoes, gravy and green beans.

   I once shot a man in Reno with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

   There was a break-in at the local Apple Store. Police are looking for iWitnesses.

   We lost Meat Loaf and Louie Anderson today. They say celebrity deaths always happen in threes. Let's hope we don't have a third one. Hey, two out of three ain't bad, right?

   I'm going to honor Meatloaf by leaving work like a bat out of hell today