Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I'm glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake and a hug as a greeting instead of the whole a$$ sniffing thing. 
My wife clips coupons to help save us money. She keeps them in her $300 Coach purse.
Luggage rack or cop car is the road trip game you hate to lose
I'd rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.
Brace yourselves. Here come all the imbeciles to remind us that Veterans Day is for the living and Memorial Day is for the deceased.
Date a woman with outstanding warrants. That way, she can't call the police on you. Follow me for more relationship advice.
Anyone else find it funny that during Pride Month, So many people said "why does the military only get one day" but I have not heard Anyone say it today
Because the military is land of the free home of there brave, and pride month is a man that talks like a fairy and wears a man bun and probably paints his nails. Just sayin'
Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can drink today.
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend has clearly never worn leggings.
Let’s run the bell commercial we’ve been playing for the past 17 years and take the month of December off– The Hershey Kisses Marketing Team
what if there is no placebo effect and sugar is just really healthy in pill form
Of all the terrible ways to be woken up I think, “mommy, my fart is on the floor,” takes the cake.
A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice.
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
Honk if you are flying south for the winter in a V formation.
Okay we get it 50-something washed up bar sl~ts. No need to post pics every other day feigning you're having a good time at some boring nightclub.
All I'm saying is, you don't see many face tattoos on Jeopardy!
State Farm is hoping no one will notice when they replace Aaron Rodgers with a black guy. 