Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 2 of 6367

   messageicon Good Day @everyone. our College Orientation & Research Symposium will be re schedule
←Rate | 03-14-2024 00:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows. They never get to keep the house.
←Rate | 03-13-2024 09:57 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got into a debate with a Flat Earther today . He said he would walk to the edge to prove he's right.... I told him he'd come around eventually.
←Rate | 03-11-2024 16:26 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon My class essay on internal organs was too short. So I added an appendix.
←Rate | 03-11-2024 06:03 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight is the best night of the year to have relations with the old lady…you can set performance records if you start at 1:58 am🤪
←Rate | 03-09-2024 14:32 by Donnywang Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my post were removed, because someone took A Fence
←Rate | 03-09-2024 12:58 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm already losing an hour on Sunday for daylight savings time. No way in hell am I losing more by watching the Oscars!
←Rate | 03-08-2024 20:47 by @ttmichael09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Sunday, Daylight Saving Time begins. We don't save any daylight. It gets stolen from the morning and is given to the evening. Daylight Stealing Time.
←Rate | 03-08-2024 18:27 by Mickey-F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somebody ripped a page out of my new 2024 calendar! I'm disMayed!
←Rate | 03-08-2024 11:13 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid, before Facebook, I remember when taking the time out and having to stare at a wall was considered a punishment.
←Rate | 03-07-2024 21:36 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone else buy bananas that are not only a great source of fiber and vitamins but can also help maintain a healthy heart just to watch them die a slow and miserable death sitting on your counter?
←Rate | 03-07-2024 21:31 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking about taking up Meditation. It's better than sitting around doing nothing.
←Rate | 03-07-2024 16:00 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Told my Cat I was going to teach him English today....He looked up and said... Me? How?
←Rate | 03-06-2024 19:42 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Grief Counselor died today. He was so good.. I don't even care!
←Rate | 03-06-2024 19:39 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.
←Rate | 03-06-2024 11:53 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when you start treating someone like they treat you and they suddenly think you're an asshole?
←Rate | 03-06-2024 10:06 by @ttmichael09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The clocks go back this weekend. Hopefully back to when we could afford groceries.
←Rate | 03-06-2024 08:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a reel-ationship
←Rate | 03-04-2024 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey. If owls are so smart, how come they don't say, 'whom'?
←Rate | 03-04-2024 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do Priests delivering Mass use their Altar ego ?
←Rate | 03-03-2024 07:24 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left